Week 5- Post 3

When conflict arises, it is crucial to communicate by using “I” statements. Using sentences that start with “I” means that you are taking the responsibility to state how you feel. However, if you use “you” sentences it appears that you are blaming the other person and how they made you feel. When you use “you” statements, it may seem that you are attacking the other person, and in return they may become defensive. So, to avoid this, we use “I” statements. For example, my brother and I were debating about where we wanted to go for dinner. He wanted In-N-Out Burger, and I didn’t because I am a vegetarian. My brother said, “you are so picky and you always get to pick where we go”. Since my brother was using “you” statements it sounded like he was mad, even though he wasn’t. Instead, he could have said, “I feel that you always get to pick where we eat”, which sounds a lot nicer. This way I understand how he feels and can try to find a place where we both want to go.

Week 5- post 2

When someone is talking to me, I find myself paying close attention, and listening carefully. Because I enjoy listening to people’s different points of view, I do my best to retain as much information as I can. When conflict occurs, I do my best to understand what is bothering them, and see if there is anything that I can do to restore the relationship. Being able to recognize why conflict arises is important because it gives you insight on what things might cause conflict with a certain individual. Therefore, listening is important when trying to resolve conflict.

Also, if there is something that I want to say when someone is talking, I do my best to ignore the thought until it is time for me to speak. After listening to someone I try to paraphrase what he or she have just said. This way the speaker knows that I was listening to what they were saying. 

Week 5- Post 1

When it comes to a professional setting, such as work or at school, I find it easy to stop a conflict. I know that I must present myself well, which means that I cannot let my emotions get the best of me. So, by taking a “time out” I am able to calm down, and try to think about how I am going to respond.  However, when it comes to people who I am close with, I have a harder time doing this. My advice to others is to use the S-TLC system, which stands for stop, think, listen, and communicate. The first step is to stop when conflict arises. Second, you must think before you react. Giving yourself time to think helps you gather your thoughts, and avoids speaking on impulse. Third, you want to listen to what the other person is saying. This way you can get an understanding of where they are coming from. And the fourth step is to figure out how you what to communicate the conflict. 

Week 4- Post 3

When mediation first begins, the mediators must start with an opening statement. An opening statement is when the mediator explains their purpose and defines the process of mediation. Most importantly, the mediator tells both parties that he or she is unbiased, and are there to try to work out a mutual agreement. I feel that having by having a good opening statement makes both parties more willing to cooperate. For example, before my brother went to his court hearing, we were given a mediator. When she approached us, she simply stated that she was a mediator. Since we did not ask for a mediator I was a little confused to why she wanted to help us. So before we started talking about the situation, I had asked her what her purpose was and what was her regulations. After she explained her purpose, we all cooperated and tried to get a mutual agreement with the other party.  

                                                                                        

Week 4- Post 2

We use techniques such as fractionation, framing, reframing, and common ground mostly for interpersonal conflicts. However, we use them for other things as well. I feel that we use these techniques when we make our own decisions. In situations where we have trouble trying to make the best decisions we might use these techniques. For example, I am a full time student and there have been times where I would have two exams on the same day. Needless to say, there is conflict between when and how I am going to study for both exams. I can use fractionation to break down what topics I need to study for each class. For framing, I can ask myself what exam needs more studying and what topics I need to pay special attention to. Using these techniques help me prioritize what I need to do first. But also makes me feel like I know exactly what I need to do well on the exam. 

Week 4- Post 1

I feel that communication majors should make good mediators for many reasons because they are knowledgeable in the subject.  One reason is that they understand how important listening is. For example, you will want to let the speaker know that you are listening by keeping eye contact or by nodding. Also, communication majors know how deal with conflict. They understand that there are different types of steps that you can take when trying to confront conflict or resolve it. On the other hand, lawyers and psychotherapists may not be the best at being mediators. Lawyers specialty is understand the law, and psychotherapists learn how to interpret human behavior.  Neither of them were taught how to communicate well. Therefore, they have not learned the skills, knowledge, or concepts to be a good communicator. Communication is a key component of our very day life, and it is important to be able to communicate effectively.