When conflict arises, it is
crucial to communicate by using “I” statements. Using sentences that start with
“I” means that you are taking the responsibility to state how you feel.
However, if you use “you” sentences it appears that you are blaming the other
person and how they made you feel. When you use “you” statements, it may seem
that you are attacking the other person, and in return they may become
defensive. So, to avoid this, we use “I” statements. For example, my brother
and I were debating about where we wanted to go for dinner. He wanted In-N-Out
Burger, and I didn’t because I am a vegetarian. My brother said, “you are so
picky and you always get to pick where we go”. Since my brother was using “you”
statements it sounded like he was mad, even though he wasn’t. Instead, he could
have said, “I feel that you always get to pick where we eat”, which sounds a
lot nicer. This way I understand how he feels and can try to find a place where
we both want to go.
I also chose I-statements as my third discussion posting this week. They were of particular interest to me because I can see how I can use them in everyday conversations and conflicts. I try my best to be an assertive person, so using I-statements is something I am going to start doing.
ReplyDeleteIt will be especially useful when I am with my friends who all seem to have differing ideas of what is fun. We tend to bicker every now and then on what to do with our time together, so now I will assert my position with I-statements, similar to how you wanted your brother to do when deciding where to eat. It really does have a startling effect on the way something sounds when you use an I-statement in place of a you-statement. Good job on your post this week. As a side note, In-N-Out has vegetarian options available. We make veggie burgers and grilled cheeses (Vegetables and bun or Vegetables, cheese and bun—no veggie patties). Not sure if you knew that already, but thought you may be interested ;]